1.別跟她冷戰(zhàn)
The best technique to get what you want and exert mental pressure on somebody is to give them the silent treatment. If you think that the silent treatment will always help you achieve a desirable result, then you’re mistaken. Sure, your mom will refuse to interact with you as well. By all means, you should take immediate action to stop this cold war。
得到你想要的并且對(duì)某人施加心理壓力的最好方法就是跟他們冷戰(zhàn)。不過，如果你認(rèn)為沉默總能幫你達(dá)到想要的結(jié)果，那你就大錯(cuò)特錯(cuò)了。當(dāng)然，你媽媽也會(huì)同樣拒絕跟你交流。不管用什么方法，你都應(yīng)該立即采取行動(dòng)，制止這場(chǎng)冷戰(zhàn)。
2. Refuse to go into hysterics
2.拒絕歇斯底里
There’s no doubt that hysterics is an extremely effective type of manipulation, but you’re not a little girl. If you cannot prove your case, you shouldn’t burst into tears in front of your mother. Pull yourself together and try to reach a compromise against all odds. Every time, it seemed to me that I was losing control of my feelings, I preferred to shut up and wait until my heartache would fade away. I didn’t want my mom to absorb my negative emotions and think that I wasn’t strong and mature. It helped me reduce the frequency of hysterics and improved the relationship with my mother。
毫無疑問，歇斯底里是一種絕對(duì)有效的處理方式，但是你不是小女孩了。如果你不能證明你自己，你就不應(yīng)該在你媽媽面前淚流滿面。振作起來，試著排除萬難達(dá)成和解。每一次在我看來我快控制不了自己情緒的時(shí)候，我寧愿閉嘴，直到我不再心痛為止。我不想媽媽被我的負(fù)面情緒所感染，覺得我不夠堅(jiān)強(qiáng)跟成熟。這幫我減少了歇斯底里的頻率，還增進(jìn)了我跟媽媽之間的關(guān)系。
3. Avoid deeply offensive words
3.不要說一些很傷人的話
We’re living in a democratic world where we’re free to express our opinions and tell almost everything we want. Word is a unique and powerful thing that exerts a big influence on human mind. If you’re at odds with your mother, you should be careful what you say to her. Sometimes your word can be either a perfect pain reliever or a terrible weapon. Sooner or later, you’ll apologize for your bad behavior, but the words you’ve uttered and the feeling of resentment will live in her heart forever。
我們生活在一個(gè)民主世界里，我們可以自由地表達(dá)我們的觀點(diǎn)，也可以說幾乎任何我們想說的話。話語(yǔ)是能對(duì)人類思想產(chǎn)生巨大影響的獨(dú)一無二的強(qiáng)有力的東西。如果你跟你媽媽有什么爭(zhēng)執(zhí)的地方，你應(yīng)該注意你對(duì)她說的話。有時(shí)候你的話可能會(huì)是一種完美的鎮(zhèn)痛劑，但也有可能是一種傷人的武器。遲早，你會(huì)為你不好的行為道歉，但是你說出去的話以及那種憤恨的感覺會(huì)永遠(yuǎn)留在她心底。
4. Don’t draw other family members into a conflict
4.不要把其他家庭成員卷進(jìn)沖突里面
I must confess that earlier I had a terrible habit of drawing my brother and dad into conflicts between me and my mom. I wanted them to support me and help us find a mutually beneficial solution. Unfortunately, their active participation only intensified the problem. As a result, small and insignificant mother-daughter fights grew into long-lasting family conflicts. I learned a big lesson and realized that my bad temper made my family suffer。
我必須早點(diǎn)坦白，我有一個(gè)習(xí)慣就是我總是會(huì)把我的兄弟跟父親卷進(jìn)我跟媽媽的沖突里面。我想要他們支持我并且?guī)臀艺业揭粋�(gè)互利的解決辦法。不幸的是，他們的加入只會(huì)讓問題愈演愈烈。結(jié)果，小小的，根本無關(guān)緊要的媽媽跟女兒之間的爭(zhēng)吵演變成了持久的家庭矛盾。我被好好的上了一課并意識(shí)到：我的壞脾氣都讓所有家人都跟著遭殃的。
5. Enhance your communication
5.多溝通
How often do you communicate with your mother? Psychologists say that regular communication with your parents is a normal thing that makes them happier. Lack of communication between mothers and daughters can create emotional barriers and even trigger frequent quarrels. The generation gap is not the only barrier to effective and healthy communication with your mother. The main reasons are buried deep in your subconscious mind. When you finally find the reason, you’ll be able to overcome misunderstanding in communication with your mom and bridge the generation gap in a quite short period of time。
你多長(zhǎng)時(shí)間跟你媽媽溝通一次?心理學(xué)家說經(jīng)常和你的父母溝通是能讓他們更快樂的一件平凡事。媽媽跟女兒之間缺乏溝通會(huì)產(chǎn)生情感上的障礙，甚至?xí)l(fā)頻頻的爭(zhēng)吵。這個(gè)代溝不是你跟媽媽有效的、健康的溝通的唯一障礙。主要的原因深埋在你的潛意識(shí)深處。當(dāng)你最終發(fā)現(xiàn)這個(gè)原因的時(shí)候，你就能克服你跟你媽媽溝通上的誤解，并且短時(shí)間內(nèi)就能建起那座代溝的橋梁。
