Effective communication is one of the most important life skills we can learn—yet one we don't usually put a lot of effort into. Whether you want to have better conversations in your social life or get your ideas across better at work, here are some essential tips for learning to to communicate more effectively。
有效的交流技巧是我們可以學(xué)習(xí)的、生活中最重要的技巧之一。——但是我們一般都沒(méi)有把大量的精力放到這方面上。無(wú)論你是想在社交中能更好的交流，還是想在工作中更有效地把想法表達(dá)出來(lái)，都來(lái)看看下面的這些能幫你更有效交流的小技巧吧。
10. Watch Your Body Language
10.注意自己的身體語(yǔ)言
You tell your partner you're open to discussion but your arms are crossed; say you're listening but haven't looked up from your phone yet. Our non-verbal and non-written cues often reveal more than we think they do. Whether it's how you make eye contact or how you hold yourself during a video interview, don't forget that you're constantly communicating even when you're not saying a word. One strange way to tap into your body for better communication? Think about your toes. Or adopt a power pose if you need to boost your confidence before a big talk. Or learn how to read other people's body language so you can respond appropriately。
你告訴搭檔你愿意討論，但是你的胳膊卻交叉在一起;你在聽(tīng)，但是卻在低著頭看手機(jī)。我們的非語(yǔ)言和非文字的線索往往比想象中泄露的信息還要多。無(wú)論是進(jìn)行眼神交流，還是在視頻采訪中控制自己，都不要忘了，即便你一言不發(fā)，也是在不斷地交流。想不想知道一種用身體來(lái)更好交流的奇怪方式?那就是想想你的腳趾頭�；蛟谶M(jìn)行一次重要談話前，使用能提升自信的姿勢(shì)。也可以學(xué)習(xí)一下如何讀懂他人的身體語(yǔ)言，這樣你能恰當(dāng)?shù)鼗貞?yīng)。
9. Get Rid of Unnecessary Conversation Fillers
9.去除不必要的會(huì)話用語(yǔ)
Um's and ah's do little to improve your speech or everyday conversations. Cut them out to be more persuasive and feel or appear more confident. One way is to start keeping track of when you say words like "um" or "like." You could also try taking your hands out of your pockets or simply relaxing and pausing before you speak. Those silences seem more awkward to you than they do to others, trust us。
“恩”，“啊”對(duì)于改善你的演講或每天的對(duì)話來(lái)說(shuō)作用不大。把它們?nèi)サ裟芨姓f(shuō)服力，能讓你看起來(lái)更加自信。一種方式是觀察自己說(shuō)“恩”或“啊”的時(shí)刻。你也可以試著把你的手從口袋里拿出來(lái)，或在說(shuō)話前簡(jiǎn)單地放松和暫停一下。相信我們，在那些沉默的時(shí)刻，你其實(shí)比他們要更尷尬。
8. Have a Script for Small Talk and Other Occasions
8.為閑談和其他對(duì)話提前想好內(nèi)容
Small talk is an art that not many people have mastered. For the inevitable, awkward silences with people you hardly know, it helps to have a plan. The FORD (family, occupation, recreation dreams) method might help you come up with topics to discuss, and you can also turn small talk into conversation by sharing information that could help you and the other person find common ground. Hey, all that small talk could make you happier in the long run。
閑談是一種藝術(shù)，掌握它的人不多。對(duì)于和那些你基本上不認(rèn)識(shí)的人在一起時(shí)不可避免的、尷尬的沉默時(shí)刻，提前做個(gè)計(jì)劃很有幫助。FORD(家庭、職業(yè)、娛樂(lè)、夢(mèng)想)方法能幫你想出討論的話題，你也可以和別人分享信息，這有助于你們找到共同話題，把閑談轉(zhuǎn)為會(huì)話。從長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)的角度上來(lái)看，所有的閑談都會(huì)讓你更加開(kāi)心。
7. Tell a Story
7.講故事
Stories are powerful. They activate our brains, make presentations suck less, make us more persuasive, and can even help us ace interviews. Learn the secrets of becoming a phenomenal storyteller with these rules from Pixar or by simply using the word "but" more to structure your narrative. Everyone's got at least one great story in them。
故事的力量是很強(qiáng)大的。它們能激活我們的大腦，讓我們的演講不會(huì)太差，讓我們更有說(shuō)服力，甚至能幫助我們?cè)诿嬖囍忻摲f而出。可以從皮克斯那里學(xué)習(xí)如何能把故事講得精彩，或簡(jiǎn)單地用“但是”來(lái)調(diào)整你的敘述結(jié)構(gòu)。每個(gè)人心中都至少有一個(gè)非常好的故事。
6. Ask Questions and Repeat the Other Person
6.問(wèn)問(wèn)題并重復(fù)他人的話
Let's face it, we've all drifted off when someone else was talking or misheard the other person. Asking questions and repeating the other person's last few words shows you're interested in what they say, keeps you on your toes, and helps clarify points that could be misunderstood (e.g., "So to recap, you're going to buy the tickets for Saturday?")。
讓我們面對(duì)現(xiàn)實(shí)吧，當(dāng)別人在說(shuō)話時(shí)，我們都會(huì)走神或聽(tīng)錯(cuò)話。問(wèn)問(wèn)題并重復(fù)他人最后說(shuō)的幾句話表明你對(duì)他們說(shuō)的話感興趣，這能幫你保持警覺(jué)，并有助于澄清容易誤解的地方(比如，“也就是說(shuō)，你想買(mǎi)周六的票?”)
It also helps for small talk and to fill in awkward silences. Instead of trying to stir up conversation on mundane topics like the weather, ask the other person questions (e.g., "Got any plans for the summer?" or "What are you reading lately?") and engage in their answers. It's more important to be interested than to be interesting。
這樣也有助于閑談，能使得沉默的時(shí)刻不那么尷尬。除了可以用像天氣這樣單調(diào)的話題來(lái)展開(kāi)談話，也可以問(wèn)別人一些問(wèn)題。(比如，“夏天有什么計(jì)劃?”或“最近在讀什么書(shū)?”)，并就他們的回答進(jìn)一步展開(kāi)。感興趣比有意思要重要得多。
5. Put Away the Distractions
5.去除干擾
It's pretty rude to use your phone while someone's talking to you or you're supposed to be hanging out with them. Maybe we can't get rid of all our distractions or put away technology completely, but just taking the time to look up could vastly improve our communication with each other。
當(dāng)別人和你說(shuō)話時(shí)，或你該和別人一起玩時(shí)，你在那里玩手機(jī)是不禮貌的行為。也許我們無(wú)法去除所有的干擾，或完全收起科技產(chǎn)品，但是拿出時(shí)間抬頭看看會(huì)極大地改善彼此間的交流。
4. Tailor Your Message to Your Audience
4.為你的聽(tīng)眾量身定做消息
The best communicators adjust how they talk based on whom they're speaking to; you'd probably use a different style of communication with co-workers or your boss compared to when you're speaking with your significant other, kids, or elders. Always try to keep the other person's perspective in mind when you try to get your message across。
好的交流者根據(jù)談話的對(duì)象調(diào)整談話的方式;你和同事、老板間的交流方式與和愛(ài)人、孩子或老人的交流方式是不同的。當(dāng)你嘗試表達(dá)自己的信息時(shí)，一定要把別人的視角記在心里。
3. Be Brief Yet Specific
3.要簡(jiǎn)明、具體
There's actually a BRIEF acronym—Background, Reason, Information, End, Follow-up—to help you keep your emails short without leaving anything out. It's a good policy for both written and verbal communication (I've always felt that my job as a writer was to clearly get the point across and then get off the page as soon as possible. Just two more items on this list!) Clear and concise are two of the 7 Cs of communication, along with concrete, correct, coherent, complete, and courteous。
實(shí)際上有一個(gè)縮寫(xiě)B(tài)RIEF-Background(背景)、Reason(原因)、Information(信息)、End(結(jié)尾)、Follow-up(后續(xù)內(nèi)容)能讓你的電子郵件簡(jiǎn)明而不遺漏信息。無(wú)論是書(shū)面交流還是口頭交流，這都是一個(gè)不錯(cuò)的策略。(作為一名作家，我總是認(rèn)為我的工作就是把要點(diǎn)清晰地表達(dá)出來(lái)，然后盡早結(jié)束。這個(gè)清單上還剩下兩項(xiàng)內(nèi)容!)Clear(清晰)、concise(簡(jiǎn)明)是交流的7個(gè)C中的2個(gè)，其他5個(gè)分別是：concrete(具體)、correct(準(zhǔn)確)、coherent(連貫)、complete(完整)、courteous(客氣)。
2. Up Your Empathy
2.培養(yǎng)共鳴
Communication is a two-way street. If you practice taking the opposing viewpoint, you can reduce the difficulty and anxiety that sometimes arises when trying to truly communicate with others. (For example, knowing what your significant other really means when she says she's too tired to talk。) Developing empathy helps you better understand even the unspoken parts of your communication with others, and helps you respond more effectively。
交流是雙向的。如果你練習(xí)從相反的觀點(diǎn)看問(wèn)題，那么當(dāng)你試著和別人交流而發(fā)生意見(jiàn)不一致的情況時(shí)，你就不會(huì)覺(jué)得那么困難或那么焦慮。(例如，當(dāng)你的另一半說(shuō)她太累了，不想說(shuō)話時(shí)，你明白她所表達(dá)的含義。)培養(yǎng)共鳴能幫助你更好理解你和別人交流時(shí)非語(yǔ)言的部分，并幫助你更有效地回應(yīng)。
1. Listen, Really Listen
1.傾聽(tīng)，真正地傾聽(tīng)
Finally, going hand-in-hand with most of the points above, the best thing you can do to improve your communication skills is to learn to really listen—to pay attention and let the other person talk without interrupting. It's hard work, we know, but "A good conversation is a bunch of words elegantly connected with listening." Then, even if your communication styles don't match, at least you're both working off the same page. And hopefully the other person will be attentively listening to you too。
最后，和上面幾點(diǎn)緊密聯(lián)系的、你可以做的最好的事情就是通過(guò)真正地傾聽(tīng)來(lái)改善你的交流技巧——在別人說(shuō)話時(shí)認(rèn)真聽(tīng)別人說(shuō)并不打斷別人。我們知道，這很難，但“好的會(huì)話是詞匯和傾聽(tīng)的優(yōu)雅結(jié)合。” 即便你們的交流方式不匹配，通過(guò)傾聽(tīng)你也能明白對(duì)方的含義。當(dāng)然也希望別人能專(zhuān)心聽(tīng)你說(shuō)。
