Even if you're clever and educated, you could still be guilty of making these popular but annoying speaking mistakes。即使你很聰明也受過教育,但是你仍然可能會因為犯一些常見但很煩人的口語錯誤而充滿罪惡感。
There's a lot you can change about your presentation to make yourself seem smarter(and, hey, if you want to go for substance over style, plenty of ways to actually be smarter), but few have a bigger impact than eliminating bad speech habits。關于演講,你可以做很多改變來讓你自己看起來更聰明(另外,嘿,如果你主張內容重于風格,那么有很多方法可以讓你實際上聽起來更聰明),但是沒有什么能比改掉演講中的壞習慣更有效果。
You're an educated person, however, who knows to stay away from "ain't," avoids the valley girl staple "like," and steers clear of fillers like "ummm." Does that mean your speech is as polished as it could be? Chances are that no matter how clever and careful you are, you're still making at least a few inadvertent errors that lower others' opinion of your intelligence 。你是一個受過教育的人,然而,誰知道要遠離"ain't(不是)",避免山里的女娃特愛說的"like",以及繞開使用諸如"ummm(嗯)" 之類的填充詞呢。那是否意味著你的演講能和預期一樣達到精彩絕倫呢?可能的情況是:無論你多么聰明和細心,你仍然會犯一些會降低你在他人心中的聰明程度的無心的錯誤。
That's the message of an interesting recent post from Sarah Winfrey on blog WiseBread. Rather than the usual suspects of poor speaking, Winfrey digs up some speech habits that are less often commented on but no less annoying and that even people who pay attention to their communication style are often guilty of. Here are five of the best:這是Sarah Winfrey最近在WiseBread博客上寫的一篇有意思的文章所表達的觀點。不像通常那種口語差的主題,這篇文章中Winfrey發(fā)現有些演講習慣很少被人評論,但是容易讓人厭煩,并且當人們注意到自己的溝通風格中也會不經意用到時會充滿罪惡感。下面是用的最多的5個:
1. "I know, right?"“我知道,對吧?”
Popular among eager-to-please 20-somethings, this phrase sounds innocuous but is actually pretty awkward . "It asks a question that the other person may not know whether or not to answer. Since you're asking them to affirm
something they just said, using this can make the other person in the conversation confused, and it can make you look like you don't know what to say," explains Winfrey. Opt for a simple "Oh, yeah" or just receptive silence instead, she advises。這句話在急于取悅別人的20多歲的人中很流行,它聽起來無傷大雅但是實際上非常尷尬。Winfrey解釋說“它附帶的問題讓其他人不知道回答還是不回答。你讓他們確認他們剛剛說的東西,用這句話會讓談話中的其他人感到困惑,而且這也會顯得你似乎不知道該說什么。”
2. "You'll be fine."“你會沒事的”
Maybe the person you say this to really will be fine, but chances are he or she will think you're a bonehead . "When something bad happens to someone we care about, we want to make them feel better. We want to make the situation better, so we tell them, 'You'll be fine.' Unfortunately, this is dismissive
and sends a clear message that you aren't interested in listening to them. Even if this isn't at all what you want to say, this is your message when you use these words," argues Winfrey. According to her, saying nothing is better than using this aggravating phrase。也許聽你講這句話的人確實會沒事,但是可能情況是:他或她會覺得你是個傻瓜。Winfrey認為“當有什么不好的事情發(fā)生在我們關心的人身上時,我們想讓他們感覺好一點。我們想讓情況變得好一點,所以我們告訴他們,‘你會沒事的’。不幸的是,這句話很冷漠,它清晰的傳達出一種信息,你沒興趣聽他們訴說。即使這不是你想表達的意思,但是你使用這句話時,你傳達出的就是這種意思”。她還表示,不說話也比說這個令人惱怒的話要好。
3. "I think you should..."“我認為你應該……”
What could be wrong with a little well-meant advice? Plenty, contends
Winfrey. "If someone comes to you and asks, 'What do you think I should do about this?' it's fine to give them advice. Otherwise, just don't. Offering advice when it wasn't requested makes you sound pompous , or at least like you enjoy appearing to be clever," she warns, suggesting guilty parties listen harder and ask better questions instead。小小的善意的建議能有什么錯呢?Winfrey認為大錯特錯。Winfrey警告說“如果有人問你,‘關于這個你認為我應該做些什么呢?’那么給他們提些建議沒有問題。否則,不要提建議。別人沒有要求你直接提建議會顯得你很自大,或者至少顯得你喜歡顯擺自己很聰明”,她建議說錯話而有罪惡感的人們努力傾聽,用問問題來更好的替代。
4."I'm not judging you, but..."“我不是在評論你,但是……”
Sorry, but yes you are. As soon as you say this you're being doubly annoying. It's clear to anyone even half awake that you are, in fact, being judgmental and, to add insult to injury, you're pretending that you're not. Quit it!抱歉,但是你就是。只要你說這句話,毋庸置疑,你會讓人很厭煩。對于所有人甚至是半清醒的人都是顯而易見的,實際上,你就是在評論他們,假裝你沒有更是雪上加霜。不要用這個句子了!
"The very fact that you are thinking in terms of judging means that you are making some sort of judgment about them in your own head. And this isn't good for you or for them," writes Winfrey. If you're guilty of saying this regularly, you might be guilty of being a little too judgmental of others. Try to tame that tendency
"by thinking up reasons why the other person's actions might make sense, and speak to them from that place of understanding," suggests Winfrey.Winfrey寫道“事實上,judging(評論)的意思是在自己腦海中對他們做出某種判斷。這個對你或他們來說都不好”。如果你對經常說這句話感到愧疚,那么你也可能對有點太武斷的評斷他人感到愧疚。Winfrey建議“通過思考為什么其他人的行為有意義,并且從你理解的地方開始同他們交談。”來改變這種陋習。
5. Big words不常用或不熟悉的詞
Here's a bonus fifth mistake that doesn't come from WiseBread but definitely bears repeating in this context. If you're a fan of using big words to demonstrate the breadth of your vocabulary and the brilliance of your thinking, be warned: Studies show that using fancy words when simple ones will do is a sure-fire way to end up looking dumb. So before you get out the thesaurus in an attempt to impress, remember that simplicity and clarity are generally a better signal of mastery than flowery language。這附加的第五個錯誤不是出自于WiseBread,但是覺得有必要在這篇文章中重復一下。如果你喜歡通過說大家都不熟悉或不常用的詞來展示你詞匯的廣度以及你才華橫溢,小心了:研究表明,當簡單的詞匯就能表達你的意思時,使用華麗的辭藻毫無疑問會顯得你很愚蠢。所以,在你拋開同義詞典嘗試給別人留下印象前,記住簡潔、清晰明了的說法比華麗的辭藻更能表明你精通一門語言。